Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Day 2 - The Flattering Tongue

These people---flatter others to get favors in return.
~Jude 1:16 NLT
We have all been exposed to one form of flattery or another.  The advertiser that tells you that women with great fashion sense and a talent for saving money shop at their store.  Or the carsalesman that tells you that you were made for that expensive sports car, or the child who tells you that you are the best mom ever right before they ask for $20 to go to the movies.  Flattery is one of those things that has become ingrained in American culture. 

To be honest, it wasn't on my list of things to be concerned about when it came to taming my tongue, but Pegues places it here on day 2.  How much harm can really be accomplished through flattery?  After all, it us usually said to make someone feel better, and besides that most people don't even really fall for it. 

A study done in Hong Kong at the University of Science and Technology discovered that while most people consciously dismiss these sugar coated words, they often sink in and sub-consciously affect our actions.  This means that our little white lies change how a person behaves.  Again, you may think that since flattery is positive there is no harm in it.  Pegues suggests otherwise.
Pegues tells us that we are especially vulnerable to flattery when we are allowing Satan's lies to sway us.  When we are insecure, feel overlooked or unappreciated, etc.  When we flatter people we are feeding Satan's lies.  Thoughts quickly go from feeling overlooked to something along the lines of "well at least _______ appreciates me," when in reality you have lied to them to gain something for yourself.  All lies are eventually discovered, if not by the person lied to then we must remember that God always knows what has been said. 
Flattery is excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one's own interests.  Given that definition it should definitely be on our list of things to tame since it is simply an outgrowth of selfishness.  Philippians 2:3 instructs us to do nothing out of selfishness, but to consider others better than ourselves.  Are we really considering them better than us if we think so little of them that we lie to them?  I think not.  James 3:16 warns us that where we have envy and selfish ambitions we will find disorder and every evil practice.  Flattery opens that door.

Pegues also tells us that "engaging in flattery is clear evidence of one's lack of faith in God's ability to give him favor with other people".  God grants us favor, it is a benefit of walking with God.  By seeking to gain dishonest favor from others it is as if we are saying, "God, I don't trust that you are going to look out for me in this relationship, so I am going to pave my own way into their good graces."  Who knows how many relationships we may have damaged as a result, or how many opportunities we may have had to serve God had we allowed Him to lead.

Psalm 12:3 tells us just how much God dislikes flattery, "The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips..."  Not a fate that I desire.

So today, think before you let that compliment slip from your tongue, is it sincere or are you trying to gain something? 

Lord, thank you for your grace and mercy, especially when it comes to our tongues.  We to often let it lead us rather than the other way around.  Help us to move beyond our selfish desires and to learn to trust you to provide all that we need.  Help us to trust in the favor that You give rather than attempt to create our own.  Most of all, Abba, I thank you that you do not give up on us, that you are quick to forgive when we ask for it.  I thank you for being willing to make the ultimate sacrifice so that we may have that gift.  Help us Lord to remember what you gave.  Fill us with your Spirit and help us to allow him to take the driver's seat.  In the name of your Son I pray.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Taming the Lying Tongue

The LORD destests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.
Proverbs 12:22

Admit it, you have told a lie at some point in your life.  From the little white lie that you thought was innocent to the big ole whopper that you told to keep from looking bad.  a UMass study done in 2002 discovered that in a normal everyday 10 minute conversation at least 2 our of 3 people tell at least one lie.  Most don't even realize how much they are lying!  So why do we lie?

More often than not it boils down to self-esteem.  Men tend to lie to make themselves look or feel better, while women tend to lie to make the other person feel better.  But you already know that don't you?  Pegues says that lying comes in four primary forms:  deceitfulness, half-truths, exaggerations, and flattery.  In my mind it all comes down to self-esteem.  We all want to look good, we all want to feel loved, and we want to feel as if we are important.  So what is so wrong with a little white lie if it doesn't hurt anyone?

First, the obvious answer...God hates lies.  It goes completely against His nature.  Titus 1:2 tells us that God doesn't lie.  In the NKJ version it says God CANNOT lie.  We were created in His image so it has to grieve His heart to see us do something so contrary to who He is.  God hates lying so much that we are told "All liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8).  Lying can cause us to be eternally separated from God.  I don't know about you, but that alone makes me want to tame my tongue when it comes to lying!

Then there is the harm we do to others by lying.  It creates false impressions.  That little white lie (Yes, that dress looks good on you!), while told to make someone feel better actually can damage relationships.  What happens when the truth is told by someone else.  Trust is lost.  The person you lied to feels as if you don't value them enough to tell them truth, or worse they feel like you intentionally attempted to humiliate them or make them look silly.  Don't think they will ever find out?  You may be right, but do you really want a relationship built on lies?  Are you really showing that person you love and care for them if you can't be honest with them? 

Lying also hurts us.  It is as if we are saying, "I don't think that you will think I am good enough, so I am going to make myself appear better and not give you a chance to think poorly of me".  Problem is that most of us tend to not be very good liars (remember we weren't created to be liars at all!).  Over time we get our half-truths, exaggerations, white lies, and whoppers confused.  Others start to realize that we aren't the person we pretend to be.  So rather than people learning about the unique, wonderful, awesome person God created each of us to be, we introduce them to the lie that Satan has convinced us we must be in order to be valued.  After all, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and God's works are all wonderful, that includes you and me.  (Psalm 139:14)  Why do we think we need to improve upon what God has created us to be?  When we lie to improve our own or other's opinions of ourselves it is as if we are saying that God didn't do a good enough job. 

God knows every word we will utter before it ever leaves our mouth.  (Psalm 139:4)  Today let us chose to honor Him by chosing to be honest.  That doesn't mean saying hurtful things to others, after all we are told that our words are for building up and encouraging our brothers and sisters  (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Ephesians 4:29).  It also doesn't mean keeping quiet either.  2 Timothy tells us that Scripture is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training (3:16).  In other words, if you have to do these things, be sure you can back it up with God's Word, and do it in love.  Love covers a multitude of sins. And if all else fails, don't speak!

Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue ~Psalm 120:2

My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.  all the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse ~Proverbs 8:7-8

Today Lord, I thank you for the mercy and forgiveness that you extend to me through Your Son.  Forgive me for the lies I have told, forgive me for grieving You.  Help me to tame this tongue of mine.  Help me to trust that I don't need to lie to appear better than I am because You have created me, and your creations are wonderful.  Help me to lean on Your Word when speaking to others, to use truth in all situations, to trust that by doing this I honor You.  In Your Son's name I pray. 


Thursday, September 20, 2012

30 Days to Taming Your Tongue



Beginning Monday, September 24, 2012  I am going to be studying 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue: What You Say (and Don't Say) Will Improve Your Relationships and sharing my thoughts with YOU. 

Admittedly, this is an area that I really struggle with.  I would venture to say that it isn't just me either.  This is one of the BIG topics in the Bible.  Why else would we be told that the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and that our words will both justify and condemn us (Matthew 12:37) and that when we stand before God we will give an account of EVERY careless word we have spoken (12:36)!  Those little things that slip off my tongue before my mind can catch them matter.  They matter to those I speak to, they matter to those I speak about and they matter to God the Father. 

So won't you join me?  I would love for you to share your thoughts as we embark upon this journey.  I would love to pray for you and I hope that my own experiences encourage you. 

Blessings!
Ginny

Monday, August 27, 2012

heart check

How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?  ~ John 5:44

Why do we do what we do?  For those of us who strive to be Christ-like or response is often, 'to please God".  But is it always?  Think about it...

God knows that there are those who claim to love Him and appear to be following him, but in the end....well not so much.  Luke 6:46 tells us that there are those who call out His name but in the day to day grind they go their own way, do their own thing, rather than obey His commands.  They are more concerned with looking good to others than seeking God's glory.

1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us to do everything (whatever we do) to the glory of God.  What we do in the day to day matters, and it should matter to us that it be done to give God the glory.  Matthew 5:16 tells us that what we do is not only a way for us to give God glory, but it allows others to see our actions so that they may give glory to God also.  We don't seek glory for ourselves, but so that it goes to the One who gave us the talents, the gifts, the abilities that we have.  For without God we can do nothing.  (John 15:5)  If we can do nothing without Him, why do we seek the glory for our actions from others?

Remember, man may look at the outward appearance of things, they may look at our actions and believe that we are sold out for Jesus, but God knows our heart and that is where the truth lies.  Take a few minutes today and examine your heart.  The good news is that God loves us unconditionally, and that He is willing to forgive and wipe it all away, we need only acknowledge and ask. 

Friday, August 24, 2012

If you knew....

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."  ~John 4:10

If you knew.  I look at my teenage children and have often thought that.  If only you knew how your choices are impacting your future.  If only you knew that your decision to remain stubborn rather than to humble yourself was only hurting you.  If only you knew how your words said in anger affected those around you.  If only you knew that this heartache would pass, and that God has a truly special person out there for you.  The teen years are hard.

But I wonder how many times Jesus says to me, "If only you knew"?  His word tells us that He has so many gifts for us.  He offers the gift of hope (Jeremiah 29:11), the gift of rest (Mathew 11:28-29), the gift of peace (Proverbs 1:33, John 14:27), the gift of strength (Isaiah 40:29-31), and the gift of supplying for our needs (Philippians 4:19).  The best gift of all is the gift of eternal life with Him (Romans 6:23).  And yet so many of us don't ask for, and as a result don't receive, these gifts.  

Jesus points out that the woman didn't know the gifts that God was offering.  We don't have that excuse.  Everything He offers is spelled out for us in His Word, including how to accept the gifts.  Isn't it time we quit trying to quench our thirst with something that isn't lasting and start quenching it with something that is?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On hold until June

It seems that our meeting days either fall on a national holiday (Easter and Mother's Day) or a special church day (Word of Light's anniversary picnic service). So no meetings until June when we begin our DVD study More than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst.  Good news is that Lysa is going to be the guest at this years women's conference!  So until then, may God continue to watch over you and may you continue to rely on Him!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Spring Cleaning


It is the time of year that many of us begin looking around our house and deciding that it is time to spruce the place up.  Walmart has moved their cleaning items to the front of the store to entice us to begin that process.  We open up the windows, deep clean the carpets, scrub the floors and walls and add some color to our environment.  Today I want you to begin thinking about spring cleaning your other house also.

2 Kings 20:1 says,”set your house in order, for you shall die and not live”  These words were spoken to Hezekiah on what was to be his deathbed.  However, he turned to God and prayed, he had a spiritual spring cleaning of sorts, and God heard him and not only healed him but granted him 15 more years of life.  Now, I am not saying that spiritual spring cleaning will add any years to your life, but I will say that just as spring cleaning your house makes it a more pleasant place to live and be, spring cleaning your spiritual house will make you a more pleasant place for the Spirit to dwell.

During the winter months our homes become “stale” with recycled air circulating, Extra dirt gets brought into the house that may not be cleaned out as efficiently due to shorter daylight hours or cold weather or business.  Our spiritual house is the same way.  We go through periods in our life we were are just recirculating what we know and not inviting anything new in.  We allow extra dirt to creep into our lives gradually, but it builds up.  The world outside dirties up our windows and every so often it needs cleaned off/out.  Today I invite you to begin spring cleaning your spiritual house.

To do this, we need to take a look at ourselves and evaluate what needs cleaned first.  Continuing with the spring cleaning analogy, we usually start with the things that are dirtiest or those that are most obvious first.  Seriously, do you clean under your fridge before while the counters are covered with dishes?  It is the same with our spiritual spring cleaning.  Take a moment and think about the one thing in your life that you feel should be your biggest priority to straighten up right now.  Here are a few areas you may want to examine:
·         Your heart – we can’t clean ourselves up without God.  Psalm 51:10 tells us that God creates a clean heart and renews a right spirit within us. 
·         Your mouth – this is more than just bad language, as we have talked before it includes how we talk about others(negative talk, pessimistic thoughts, complaining, gossip etc) Phillippians 2:14 tells us to do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing while Luke 6:45 tells us that what we speak is the overflow of our heart.  If our heart is a reflection of our relationship with God, what are our words showing the world about that relationship?

Once we have discovered what needs cleaned, we need to gather our tools.  When cleaning your home you don’t grab a straw broom to clean the bathtub.  We also need to be sure we are using the right tool for this job.  There are tons of books out there about how to get closer to God, how to have the life every Christian wants, how to be a godly woman.  I don’t know about you but I am a gadget girl.  I like trying new things that are supposed to make cleaning quicker and easier.  I would LOVE to have one of those Roomba things that clean the carpet for you.  Sometimes we look for the easy way to clean our spiritual souls too.   I am a reader, so I turn to books a lot in an attempt to find the path to “better”.  A title like How to have a new Kid by Friday appeal to that part of me that wants to fix it quick and with little effort.  Reality is though that sometimes our quick fixes are based on a firm foundation of truth, and sometimes they are not.  When cleaning our spiritual house, we need to be sure that the tool we are using is really going to work rather than waste time and effort trying everything else first.  This tool is the Bible.  Need to know how to remove a stain on your heart?  The Bible holds the answer whether that stain is unforgiveness, idolatry, idleness, pride or any other stain.  Before you start cleaning take some time to research what the Bible has to say about what you are wanting to clean up.  Write it down and keep it with you so that when you are having a particularly rough time removing the stain you can turn to your tool for help.  Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two edged sword.  It is probably the ONLY THING that can remove the stain.

So we know what we are cleaning and how to clean it, now we need to declutter.  I am a pack rat, both in this world and spiritually.  Given the option I would surround myself with TONS of seemingly meaningless stuff because of the meaning I tend to place on something.  I saved baby teeth (finally threw those out about 2 years ago), the dried up umbilical stump is taped in one of my kids baby books, and anything that could be recycled into a crafty project gets saved too.  I am recovering from this need to save for one reason and one reason only.  The clutter it creates makes life more difficult.  It is hard to feel at peace in a home of barely controlled chaos.  When every flat surface in your house is cluttered to the point you can’t even put a glass on your side table then I began to feel cluttered and out of control and overwhelmed.  Our spiritual life is the same.  Are you hanging on to something?  Anger, unforgiveness, the thought that it was better before?  In my spiritual life I collected the negative thoughts that others voiced about me and clung to them believing they were part of who I am.  No one would love me because I was fat, I wasn’t good enough at _________, I didn’t deserve what my parents gave me, if my mother had been smart she would have left me with my father when they divorced because I was ruining her life. And so much more.  We all have those voices from our past that cause us to doubt that God loves us, really loves us.  Toss out the clutter.  You don’t need it, it doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t matter anymore.   Hebrews 12:1 tells us to strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that hinders our progress.  Ephesians 4:31 tells us to get rid of bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on things that are just, pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue and praise.

Next comes the hard part, for me at least.  I am a procrastinator at heart.  The problem with that is that I don’t function well under pressure so when I wait until the last minute to do something, things tend to fall apart around me.  If I put off spring cleaning the next thing you know I get a phone call telling me I am going to be having unexpected company and I begin rushing around like a mad woman trying to get it all done and I inevitably end up overlooking something (picture rings in the toilet or toothpaste globs in the sink).  Basically, it doesn’t get done right and I end up looking for short cuts which we have already mentioned don’t always  work.  In my case, they rarely work.  Soul cleaning is the same.  God wants what is best for us.  Sometimes that means He sees we aren’t serious about our cleaning so He will give us an “unexpected” to push us into doing what we should have been doing to begin with.  You see, even the best laid plans are useless if you don’t implement them.  James 2:14 asks “what does it profit if someone says he has faith but does not have works?”  There is no spiritual profit if you do nothing.   However, you have to do more than just start.  Really, can you get all your spring cleaning done in one day?  It is the same with soul cleaning…it’s a process that requires self-discipline to complete.  I read that “success in any endeavor where self-discipline is involved boils down to this question: can you make yourself do something you don’t particularly want to do in order to get a result you would like to have?”  Few people really enjoy soul cleaning.  It’s painful at worst and uncomfortable at best.  But as Christians we claim that the result we want is to be like Christ, and that means making ourselves do the work. 

Don’t forget the closets!  These tend to get overlooked in my house because no one ever sees them but me and my family.  That being the case I tend to not fret about them so much.  The problem with that plan is that the closest is where my kids store their laundry basket.  When I don’t pay attention to the closets, over time the clothes hanging in the closet that are off season and have been hanging for up to 6 months w/o being washed begin to take on the odor of that dirty laundry basket.  That means extra work for me when I do get around to cleaning the closets because I have to wash clothes that are technically clean but reek.  Our souls have spiritual closets as well, those areas of our lives that no one else sees, sometimes not even our spouse or family.  We tend to hide our dirty laundry in the closets hoping that the guest (the Spirit) doesn’t look into them.  Problem is, guests always go looking.  Proverbs 15:11 (NLT) says that even death and destruction hold no secrets from the Lord.  How much more does he know the human heart!  There isn’t a closet dark enough to secret enough to hide something from God.  The struggle to keep our deepest, darkests from Him does nothing but hurt us.  Psalm 32:3-5 says When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Once you have done all this work to clean out the yuck, you need to set you mind upon keeping it clean.  Few of us invest all the time to spring clean our home and then throw our hands up, say mission accomplished, and quit taking out the trash afterwards, or stop running the vacuum.  You try to maintain that sense of peace that a newly scrubbed house brings.  The Bible tells us how to maintain that sense of peace.  I like how the NCV translates Galatians 5:16-17 So I tell you: Live by following the Spirit. Then you will not do what your sinful selves want. Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please.  If you aren’t walking in the Spirit you are at war.  War is not peaceful.    So stop warring and let the Son shine in on your newly cleaned soul, Jesus that is. 

God ... is the one who invited you into this wonderful friendship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Cor. 1:9 (NLT)  You were not intended to do this alone.  God knows you can’t.  So now that you have scrubbed your windows, shown Him what is hidden in your closets and started looking to His word as your tools, why not invite some company.  Sit down and chat with Jesus every day.  Unlike the friends you have here on earth, He may already know what you have to say, but He isn’t going to jump in and tell you how bad His was too.  I am not going to tell you that the relationship or conversation will be all about you, but it will be one in which you are the center of His attention.  He won’t have to put you on hold to deal with an errant child, or ask to call you back so He can cook supper for his family.  Jesus doesn’t have call waiting.  When you call He always answers and you will have His undivided attention for the duration of the conversation.  He LOVES you and misses you.  He wants to know all about your day, your thoughts, your fears.  But like any friend it can’t be one way.  Be sure to thank Him for the little things He does for you.  Did you get an awesome parking space today?  Tell Him thanks, He was saving it for you.  Did you get just the right words from a friend when things seemed rough today?  Thank Him for letting your friend know you were hurting and guiding them to you.  He does lots of behind the scenes orchestrating in an effort to look after you.  When is the last time you said thank you?

So what are you waiting for?  Got your list?  Get cleaning girlfriend!