Day 2 - The Flattering Tongue

These people---flatter others to get favors in return.

~Jude 1:16 NLT

We have all been exposed to one form of flattery or another.  The advertiser that tells you that women with great fashion sense and a talent for saving money shop at their store.  Or the carsalesman that tells you that you were made for that expensive sports car, or the child who tells you that you are the best mom ever right before they ask for $20 to go to the movies.  Flattery is one of those things that has become ingrained in American culture. 

To be honest, it wasn't on my list of things to be concerned about when it came to taming my tongue, but Pegues places it here on day 2.  How much harm can really be accomplished through flattery?  After all, it us usually said to make someone feel better, and besides that most people don't even really fall for it. 

A study done in Hong Kong at the University of Science and Technology discovered that while most people consciously dismiss these sugar coated words, they often sink in and sub-consciously affect our actions.  This means that our little white lies change how a person behaves.  Again, you may think that since flattery is positive there is no harm in it.  Pegues suggests otherwise.

Pegues tells us that we are especially vulnerable to flattery when we are allowing Satan's lies to sway us.  When we are insecure, feel overlooked or unappreciated, etc.  When we flatter people we are feeding Satan's lies.  Thoughts quickly go from feeling overlooked to something along the lines of "well at least _______ appreciates me," when in reality you have lied to them to gain something for yourself.  All lies are eventually discovered, if not by the person lied to then we must remember that God always knows what has been said. 

Flattery is excessive and insincere praise, especially that given to further one's own interests.  Given that definition it should definitely be on our list of things to tame since it is simply an outgrowth of selfishness.  Philippians 2:3 instructs us to do nothing out of selfishness, but to consider others better than ourselves.  Are we really considering them better than us if we think so little of them that we lie to them?  I think not.  James 3:16 warns us that where we have envy and selfish ambitions we will find disorder and every evil practice.  Flattery opens that door.

Pegues also tells us that "engaging in flattery is clear evidence of one's lack of faith in God's ability to give him favor with other people".  God grants us favor, it is a benefit of walking with God.  By seeking to gain dishonest favor from others it is as if we are saying, "God, I don't trust that you are going to look out for me in this relationship, so I am going to pave my own way into their good graces."  Who knows how many relationships we may have damaged as a result, or how many opportunities we may have had to serve God had we allowed Him to lead.

Psalm 12:3 tells us just how much God dislikes flattery, "The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips..."  Not a fate that I desire.

So today, think before you let that compliment slip from your tongue, is it sincere or are you trying to gain something? 

Lord, thank you for your grace and mercy, especially when it comes to our tongues.  We to often let it lead us rather than the other way around.  Help us to move beyond our selfish desires and to learn to trust you to provide all that we need.  Help us to trust in the favor that You give rather than attempt to create our own.  Most of all, Abba, I thank you that you do not give up on us, that you are quick to forgive when we ask for it.  I thank you for being willing to make the ultimate sacrifice so that we may have that gift.  Help us Lord to remember what you gave.  Fill us with your Spirit and help us to allow him to take the driver's seat.  In the name of your Son I pray.