Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
~Matthew 5:9 KJV
"Divide and conquer is one of Satan's most effective strategies for hindering the effectiveness of any effort undertaken by two or more people." (Deborah Pegues) Just about any time you get a group of people together, and I hate to admit this but women especially, you can pretty much bet that at some point there is going to be some division. God made each of us different and unique. We aren't going to view everything the same way. Our personalities, our gifts, our backgrounds can cause us to look at the exact same set of circumstances and see entirely different things....and that is okay.
The problem comes when either a person says something with the wrong motives and/or the receiver hears something and reads more in to it than was intended and division occurs. When we got bold and attempted to build a tower to reach God, He didn't destroy us, He divided us. Division hinders a task and can render it unobtainable. Granted, some tasks should not be undertaken, as in the Tower of Babel, but many of the activities of our families and our churches are ruined due to divisive tongues.
The problem comes when either a person says something with the wrong motives and/or the receiver hears something and reads more in to it than was intended and division occurs. When we got bold and attempted to build a tower to reach God, He didn't destroy us, He divided us. Division hinders a task and can render it unobtainable. Granted, some tasks should not be undertaken, as in the Tower of Babel, but many of the activities of our families and our churches are ruined due to divisive tongues.
Taming this particular tongue is a two way street. It takes two to tango, goes the old saying. First let us look at the speaker. Pegues tells us that there will be times you need to speak to someone and tell them something negative. Inevitably that will cause discord. None of us like to hear something bad, whether it be a friend admonishing us, or finding out that someone else has been saying some hurtful things about us. As the bearer of bad news, we need to examine our hearts before we open our mouths. Are we telling someone the negative to help them grow? To help them learn? If so, continue on. Are we giving them this news of betrayal to protect them? If so, continue on. Are we trying to gain favor (look at how great I am for telling you this and how awful the other person is for saying this)? Stop and pray! Are we trying to elevate ourselves (look at what a better Christian I am for seeing this problem in you)? Stop and pray! Are we causing division because we want to be in control? Stop and pray! You may have grown up in a home where division was the norm and it has become habit to speak divisive words. It is time to examine yourself and ask God to help you to correct this. Proverbs 6:19 lists a man who causes division as one of the things God hates. He desires us to be united! (Psalm 133:1, John 17:23, 1 Corinthians 1:10, Ephesians 4:3)
But there are two sides to this tongue, and the other is our minds. We can be sensitive creatures, can't we. Something said in total innocence can send us into the "what did they really mean?" tailspin. Satan knows our weaknesses, and he will use them to his utmost advantage. He knows how much we need unity to survive this world. God tells us not to give up gathering together (Hebrews 10:25) because He realizes that we need encouragement to go on, and Satan knows that to divide is to conquer. Ross Rhode, author of Viral Jesus, puts it this way, "You need each other, if nothing more, for the encouragement. Don’t stop meeting together, it isn’t good for your soul." (Read it here) While some of the time what you hear truly is divisive and the person may mean what you think it is they mean, give them grace. Remember we need to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). That means that sometimes we have to let go of our own hurts and insecurities and trust that either God is working on us, or God is working on them but either way it is in His hands. How we respond to a divisive tongue can greatly influence the outcome, and even the person with the tongue. Simply saying, "Let me make sure I understand what you are saying..." can clear the air. If the person's heart was true and their intentions pure you can quickly put aside any dissension that Satan may have been causing. At the same time, by letting the person know that you have caught them in their attempt to divide you may just be the instrument God is choosing to use to work on their own heart, just be sure your motives are pure as well and you are not acting to cause division.
But there are two sides to this tongue, and the other is our minds. We can be sensitive creatures, can't we. Something said in total innocence can send us into the "what did they really mean?" tailspin. Satan knows our weaknesses, and he will use them to his utmost advantage. He knows how much we need unity to survive this world. God tells us not to give up gathering together (Hebrews 10:25) because He realizes that we need encouragement to go on, and Satan knows that to divide is to conquer. Ross Rhode, author of Viral Jesus, puts it this way, "You need each other, if nothing more, for the encouragement. Don’t stop meeting together, it isn’t good for your soul." (Read it here) While some of the time what you hear truly is divisive and the person may mean what you think it is they mean, give them grace. Remember we need to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). That means that sometimes we have to let go of our own hurts and insecurities and trust that either God is working on us, or God is working on them but either way it is in His hands. How we respond to a divisive tongue can greatly influence the outcome, and even the person with the tongue. Simply saying, "Let me make sure I understand what you are saying..." can clear the air. If the person's heart was true and their intentions pure you can quickly put aside any dissension that Satan may have been causing. At the same time, by letting the person know that you have caught them in their attempt to divide you may just be the instrument God is choosing to use to work on their own heart, just be sure your motives are pure as well and you are not acting to cause division.
Let me close with Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
We truly need each other in this world. Don't become an instrument of Satan's destruction.
Father, help us to stand together, looking out for each other, rather than causing division. Help us to examine our motives before we speak and help us to set aside our preconceived notions when we hear. Remind us that we must stand together against the evils of this world with our shields raised and not allow dissension to create gaps that the enemy can pierce. In the name of your Son, who gave all so that we can stand together before you, I pray.
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