The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.
Proverbs 18:8
Today's tongue is closely related to yesterday's. Both have to do with spreading rumors of others, while slander tends to focus more on defamation, gossip is a much wider topic. Gossip is simply spreading stories, idle talk about others. It is interesting to me that God goes out of His way to make sure that we understand just how horrible these things are when He places them in the same category as murder or hating God (Romans 1:28-32).
To truly understand gossip we must look at the heart, because there is where the problem lies. You see, we can talk honestly about a person and it not be gossip. If we are truly concerned and are seeking help, sharing a situation is not gossiping. For instance you know for a fact of an action that a friend has made that is harmful. You aren't sure how to approach them so you go to a trusted elder or pastor and seek advice with the true intent of helping your friend. This is not gossip. In the same situation though, when you begin to tell the ladies group what is going on, just so they know how to prayer, and your friend's friends, just so they are aware of the situation, you may have crossed into gossiping. Proverbs 16:28 tells us that a gossip separates friends. What purpose is served in telling so many people what is going on other than to separate friends?
If you have been told something in confidence, keep it in confidence. The only exception to this is if the secret is a dangerous one that will cause harm to another. When a person entrusts you with something personal, whether they have asked you to keep it secret or not, it is always best to err on the side of caution and keep the confidence. Proverbs 11:13 tells us that betraying a confidence is a mark of a gossiper.
Below are 5 steps to help stop gossip, and it begins, and ends, with you!
To truly understand gossip we must look at the heart, because there is where the problem lies. You see, we can talk honestly about a person and it not be gossip. If we are truly concerned and are seeking help, sharing a situation is not gossiping. For instance you know for a fact of an action that a friend has made that is harmful. You aren't sure how to approach them so you go to a trusted elder or pastor and seek advice with the true intent of helping your friend. This is not gossip. In the same situation though, when you begin to tell the ladies group what is going on, just so they know how to prayer, and your friend's friends, just so they are aware of the situation, you may have crossed into gossiping. Proverbs 16:28 tells us that a gossip separates friends. What purpose is served in telling so many people what is going on other than to separate friends?
If you have been told something in confidence, keep it in confidence. The only exception to this is if the secret is a dangerous one that will cause harm to another. When a person entrusts you with something personal, whether they have asked you to keep it secret or not, it is always best to err on the side of caution and keep the confidence. Proverbs 11:13 tells us that betraying a confidence is a mark of a gossiper.
Below are 5 steps to help stop gossip, and it begins, and ends, with you!
1. Examine your words carefully. Are your words those that build others up, or those that tear them down? How would you feel if someone were saying these words about you?
2. Filter what you hear. Don't allow others to gossip to you. If you don't hear the gossip to begin with you are less likely to pass it on.
3. Call an ace an ace. When someone does begin to gossip to you, call them on it. Often times we don't realize that the things we are saying are gossip. By telling your friends that you do not want to participate, you may be helping them to address a problem as well.
4. Assume the best, forget the worst. If everyone assumed the best in each other, there would be no room for gossip anymore.
5. Let it end with you. If you do overhear that juicy bit of information, be the one who chooses not to pass it on. A rumor can't survive if no one is feeding it!
Father, help us to be strong and to stand up and do what is right rather than follow the crowd. Help us to stop hurting others with our words and to start encouraging each other, building each other up, helping each other in this world. Help us to see that it is difficult enough to fight against the flesh without each other making it more difficult. Help each of us to be an instrument of change, an instrument that shows each other the same grace You show us. Thank you for Your grace, forgiveness and most of all for the sacrifice you made so that we can come into a real relationship with you! In Jesus name I pray.
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