Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

~Proverbs 15:1

 

Have you ever squirted to much toothpaste onto your toothbrush? 

 

It happens.  When it does, do you put it back into the tube?  No?  Why not?  Not an easy task is it? 

Our words are like the toothpaste, once they are out you can't put them back.  Good, bad and in between they are now out there to help or hurt others.  While Ephesians 4:29 tells us that our words should be helpful to others and should encourage and build them up, those aren't always the words we choose.

I am currently participating in an online study with Melissa Taylor.  We are studying Lysa Terkeurst's book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions which talks about the labels we are given in our lifetime.  The labels that tend to be the most difficult to shed are those that are given to us from a harsh tongue.  As Lysa says, "Labels are awful.  They imprison us in categories that are hard to escape."  Notice that she says they are "hard" and not "impossible" to escape.  We know all things are possible with God!  My point, however, is that not only can a harsh word stir up anger, but it can also inflict lasting wounds on others.  Wounds that can destroy self-esteem, that can build barriers - both in the relationship and in spiritual growth. 

The good news is that we always have a choice in the words we use, we just need to be wise enough to exercise self control.  Not an easy thing to do, I know!  Lysa describes it as "the external expression of our relationship with God.  Restraint is the seed of this fruit  It's the internal experience of living with Christ and really applying His truths to my life."  Our choice to give a gentle answer when everything in us may be screaming to give a harsh one is a reflection of our relationship with Jesus.  It is allowing the Holy Spirit to lead rather than our flesh.  You see, "the one who holds their tongue is the one who holds the power".  Not the I'm in charge power, but the Spirit power.  Remember the verse that says life and death is in the tongue?  (Proverbs 18:21)  Choosing to hold your tongue is a choice that gives life.  That is power! 

So stop giving the enemy the power by choosing words of death, harsh words.  They can do so much more than just stir up anger.  Instead, choose to give life, to turn away wrath, to allow the Spirit to lead. 

Father, this is an area I especially struggle with.  Help me to choose to speak gentle words full of life to those around me.  To stop exploding harsh words and inciting anger in those I love.  In Jesus name.